Help! I’m caught in a vicious cycle. I am super tired but I have been up for the last two hours because I have really bad cramps. Taking Aleve would get rid of the cramps but if I take them on an empty stomach I’ll get an even worse stomach ache. I can’t eat breakfast until I’ve showered and gotten dressed. I don’t want to shower and get dressed because I...
I filled quite a few askholes but my mind has suddenly gone blank and I can’t think of anything funny to ask anymore. I’ll see if I have time tomorrow to get on and ask some more questions of you guys but right now I’m crashing hard. Laterz.
I’m totally bored so I’m going to go finger some of your askholes. Wait for it.
So, I have a date tomorrow night. I know it’s kind of weird to have a date in the middle of the week, but I figure since it’s a first date it’ll be a good thing because we can end the night early if we’re having a bad time since he has to work the next day. It’s not like we’re going to have sex anyway because I, of course, got my period today so I’ll have...
I have found the best app ever for my iPhone. It’s called SoundHound and it is so awesome. I don’t even regret the $6.99 I spent on it even though I hate paying for apps and rarely do it. Seriously, check it out. It’s so fun.
I find it really quite sad that most people don’t get that my location on my twitter profile is a song by The Clash. Where did all the cool people go?
Now, a fun story. My cousin Mike who is a lot older than I am (54) has three daughters ages 7-12. They were really little when I left town so they didn’t know me very well when I came back to Milwaukee in May. These girls are really very shy and reserved and don’t talk much to anyone other than one another and their parents. Every time I’ve met them since I’ve been back...
I just took my first sip of wine and now I feel like I have the potential to become human again. Today was unbelievable. First, I walk into my aunt’s house and the person holding the door open for me was my cousin Mark who proceeded to say “Hi cuz! Happy Thanksgiving!” and then started hugging me. This is the same cousin who, on the day of my mother’s funeral 5 years ago,...
I was tricked. My aunt and cousin who disowned me are at my other aunt’s house. I was told they wouldn’t be here. Shit. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve had a crazy day today which involved cleaning, running errands, and shopping. The crowded stores gave me a headache and I was so sleepy all day but now when I should be sleeping I’m actually wide awake and obsessively listening to Rilo Kiley over and over. Especially Science Vs Romance. Just in case you weren’t sure how weird I am.
Now I wish I could take a reply back because it’s stupid. I have no excuse except that it’s late, I’m tired, my contact lens is dry and uncomfortable, I have to pee, I took too much cold medicine, the light was in my eyes, my blood sugar is really low, I forgot my PIN, I have a headache, and the dog ate my homework.
blessyourskankyheart replied to your post: Truthful Tuesday Any guy would be so blessed to have you! I mean.. Hello?! Cartoon voice! So that’s what men are into? I can catch a man with my cartoon voice?
Here’s this week’s truth. I know I make a lot of jokes on twitter about being a stalker, but actually the opposite is true. If I have a crush on someone I act like they don’t exist. If I get rejected by someone I act like it doesn’t bother me because I didn’t really care about them in the first place. To me, pride is more important than anything else so I never let...
I share my birthday with no one...
…however, it looks like Denzel Washington was also born on December 28. I’d be more than willing to share a cake with him and blow out his candle. If you know what I mean. (You see here I am using candle as a euphemism for penis. Was that not clear?)
Has anyone heard from Winona Ryder lately? I had a dream last night that I killed her and I woke up this morning clutching a bloody bag of corn nuts.
National Chocolate Day
December 28. I totally win this!!!
blessyourskankyheart replied to your post: Why is it that people always say “I love you” when… i love you! is it too late? For you? Never! I love you too!!
Why is it that people always say “I love you” when it’s too late?
WARNING: This is the second installment of VivaErotica122 (yes, that’s what I’ve decided to call it. Cute, right?) If you don’t like erotic stories/writing please bypass this post and do not read. I don’t want to offend anyone. _____________________________________________________________ We’re on our way to my aunt’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. This year...
I just ordered a Caramel Pecan Silk Supreme pie for Thanksgiving which I’m planning to eat with two bottles of Merlot at home all by myself once I make an obligatory but short appearance at my aunt’s house. Multiple orgasms will be had.
Who has a Nintendo DS? What’s your favorite game(s)? I need some suggestions because I’m bored with the ones I have.
So far I only got one suggestion which I am, of course, using. (Thanks MisterPrankster). I’m having a few problems though. First of all, the 70s and 80s were awesome decades for music. For every year there are like 5 different songs I would like to put on the playlist. My second problem is that already the playlist is too one-note. I’ve only settled on a few years and it’s very...
I’ve decided for my birthday next month I’m going to make myself a playlist that consists of one song from every year of my life. (This is going to be a long ass playlist!) If anyone would like to offer any suggestions to help me out, I’d really appreciate it. I have eclectic taste in music so genre is not an issue. Just as long as it’s from 1970 to the present. Thanks...
Well, it’s that time of year again. Every year at this time I read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott which is tied for number one as my favorite book of all-time. (Tied at first with Pride and Prejudice.) I think I always read it at Thanksgiving because it was at this time when I was about 14 years old that I first spent the holiday with Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy. This might sound weird but...
I was talking to my friend Michele on the phone earlier. We haven’t seen each other in a couple of years, but we’ve been friends for ages. We’re also friends on Facebook and I recently changed my profile pic to the one I use as an avi here and on twitter. Me: Did you see my new profile pic on Facebook? Michele: Yeah. You look exactly like you did in high school. Me:...
fussysaffa replied to your post: I just wanted to let you all know that I bought… Um. Do you send them overseas too?? Sure. Why not? I’ve never done it before but I’m sure I can figure it out. :)
Ladies, I know it’s easier to blame other chicks for the fact that your boyfriend or husband flirts with them, but calling me to yell at me and call me names for giving him my number when I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend is going a little far. I guess if you don’t blame him then you never have to deal with the fact that there’s a problem with your relationship. ...
I just wanted to let you all know that I bought Christmas cards yesterday. If you’d like me to send you one then give me your address in my askhole and I’ll get one out to you. Keep in mind these are CHRISTMAS cards and not some lame-ass “holiday” cards for the politically correct. I celebrate Christmas. I swear this really is just for card sending and not an attempt to...
I’m so drunk right now. Vodka and cranberry fucking rocks!
I was trying to pull up the shoulder of my blouse but it was stuck on my bra strap so I gave it a tug. The silky fabric slipped through my fingers and I ended up punching myself in the head. Now my cousin took away my vodka. :(
gilesmarie replied to your post: I’m freaking John out by telling him that I’m… I have a guest room. Oh, John had better watch out now. I’m coming to get him!
I’m freaking John out by telling him that I’m planning to move to Minnesota so that we can hang out together and I can pester him in person, like a good little sister should. He told me there are no vacant apartments in Minnesota right now though. I’m pretty sure he’s lying.
Why don’t more guys post pics of their nipples? What are you all afraid of?
Have any of you ever had Rumchata? Well don’t. It tastes like breast milk with a little cinnamon in it. Don’t ask me how I know what breast milk tastes like. Ask your mom.
gilesmarie-deactivated20120313 asked: Smooch!
pixieatplay-deactivated20130327 asked: What kind of refund would your ass offer me?
redicupidity replied to your photo: I bought myself a voice recorder today. Isn’t it… Ghost hunting?! To record my burps. They are epic. Seriously, just for my writing. I get any number of ideas in any given day and even though I carry around a pen and a little notebook, I can rarely read my own handwriting.
mellymoo2 replied to your post: So, I wrote a very racy or “dirty” post on tumblr… I had missed it! I went back and holy moly! Love it! I do think that you are over thinking it. But that is what everybody does! Keep it up and keep writing! I love it! I know. Like I said, I over think things all the time. Especially something like this because it’s always hard for me when I first...
maggidear replied to your post: So, I wrote a very racy or “dirty” post on tumblr… still scrolling, so i’ve yet to read it… i like knowing all kinds of things about people, racy doesnt scare me Challenge accepted! Haha. Just kidding. :) fussysaffa replied to your post: So, I wrote a very racy or “dirty” post on tumblr… I really enjoyed it and made me want to jump my husband. I...
mongrelheartme replied to your post: So, I wrote a very racy or “dirty” post on tumblr… Do it. I am going to start posting some of my stories as well. Weeee!!! We can hold hands and do it together. Yay! We can hold hands or smoosh our boobs together. Whichever.
So, I wrote a very racy or “dirty” post on tumblr last night which I had considered erasing because I was afraid it was too much. I’d gone too far and too many people would have been kind of offended by it. However, I got some positive feedback on it and it’s seems to me some people might enjoy that kind of thing. I enjoyed writing it and I’d like to continue writing...